


Not What I Imagined

by elleavantemm



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, semi canonical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elleavantemm/pseuds/elleavantemm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The conflict on the colonies has been ongoing since Relena was ten years old. In all that time, one unassuming boy captured her imagination, and at fifteen, Relena is overcome with the need to find him. Her decision results in a wider understanding of what is going on beyond superficial news reports, and brings an outcome for her mystery boy that she never intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What I Imagined

**Author's Note:**

> This work accompanies the beautiful work by grandlarseny (link to art pending). I used some canonical elements, but mostly this story is AU.

Relena was ten years old when the protests began in the colonies. At the time she didn’t understand the reason, but she would sit and watch, transfixed, in front of the television as she watched crowds of people fill the narrow colony streets, chanting and raising their fists to the sky. The protests were peaceful for two years, when suddenly there was a shift in the protest rhetoric and things took a turn towards violence. In less than six months the news began reporting deaths numbering in the thousands. Through all of this, Relena was transfixed on a boy, perhaps a bit older, perhaps a bit younger than she, always at the side of an older man - a father? - at the front of the mob. His face, while blank, carried a hint of stoicism, a support for a cause that Relena had yet to understand. 

As the colony conflict ticked over into its fifth year, Relena noticed that the older man was no longer there in the news coverage of angry protesters. The boy was much older now, and he still remained at the front of the mob, but now his contained stoicism was replaced by visible anger. The downturn of his mouth was sharp, his eyes piercing, and as Relena watched on the television in the comfort of her earth bound home, she suddenly wanted to know everything about this boy. 

 

“Father, I want to go to the colonies with you.”

“Relena…” Vice Foreign Minister Darlian sighed, sitting down on the bed next to his half packed suitcase. He patted the space beside him. “Relena, I know that what is happening in the colonies is thrilling and interesting, but it isn’t safe for you to be there.”

“But it’s safe for you to be there?” Relena returned sharply.

Her father frowned. “It is part of my job as Vice Foreign Minister to do what I can to help resolve this conflict.” He touched a hand to Relena’s head, stroking the silken gold strands. “I know I haven’t been around much lately, Relena. I wish you could come with me, but it would be foolish for me to bring you into such dangerous circumstances.”

Relena felt guilty at her father’s words; he was merely trying to look out for her, and she did miss him when he was away so much; and yet there she was with her ulterior motive of finding the boy who had so captured her imagination for so many years. “I understand, father,” she said with sad resignation. “Be safe while you are away.”

Slipping out of the room, Relena padded quietly to her own room where she pulled a small packed bag from her closet. If her father would not bring her with him, she would go by herself.

***

The shuttle port was bustling with travellers. Most of the flights were incoming from the colonies; people doing their best to escape the violence, to assure the safety of themselves and their loved ones. The Vice Foreign Minister had left early that morning. Relena had hugged her father tight before he’d disappeared inside the long black limousine. She prayed quickly under her breath for her father’s continued safety, and for a quick return; even though much of the conflict was in the colonies, there had been targeted attacks on key figures on earth as well. 

Late in the afternoon, Relena found her mother in the sitting room, reading, and told her she was meeting with friends from school to study for a test. Her mother smiled. “Take the town car, dear, in case you’re returning late.”

“Okay, mother,” Relena said, and her mother wished her well and reminded her to be kind - which Relena always tried to be. She bypassed the garage altogether, telling the ground staff that she was just going for a walk to clear her head and that she wouldn’t be long. Once clear of the gates, Relena was free to go where she wished. The caught a city bus to the shuttle port where she paid for a ticket to L1 with the allowance she had been saving. 

The clerk at the ticket counter didn’t even bat an eyelash as Relena handed over the money and claimed her ticket. So long as she remained calm and nonchalant, she would avoid raising alarm. 

The shuttle was practically empty, which Relena was thankful for as it allowed her to sit by quietly by self, avoiding the usual awkward questions from over curious strangers. The attendants talk in hushed voices at the back of the cabin, but the silence in the small space sent their words tumbling about the cabin, and Relena used the time before arrival to brace herself. She watched out the window at the dark vastness of space around them, the faint glimmer of stars, of other colonies; the bright green-white-blue glow of earth so far below. Relena had only ever been to the colonies once before, when she was seven; a special trip arranged by her father for her birthday. Since then, the Vice Foreign Minister had been too busy to attend any of Relena’s birthday celebrations, and she kept the memory close to her heart.

At the arrival gate on L1 was a wall of uniformed officers. They did a thorough pat down of Relena and searched her bag before carefully leading her out onto the colony streets. It was always strange the subtle differences between earth and the colonies. The air was so much more still, had a slight staleness to it from a lack of natural circulation. Everything was unusually uniform, too neatly organized into precise blocks and neighbourhoods that differed from the organized chaos resulting from hundreds of years of growth and development on earth. Looking up, the sky overhead was a hazy gray, threatening rain. The efforts of the officers were unnecessary as the streets of the colony were all but deserted. The absence of people was emphasized by the lack of a breeze, any naturally occurring sound or movement; Relena reminded herself that empty streets did not equal safety. Taking off on foot down the road, Relena was unsure exactly of her final destination, but confident she’d know it when she got there. 

Turning the corner at the end of the block, a hard body knocked abruptly into her shoulder, nearly taking Relena right off her feet. “Hey! Watch it!” Relena called, at the already retreating figure. She watched her assailant run down and across the street. It wasn’t until he ducked quickly into an alley further on that Relena returned her attention to what she had officially decided was the task of finding somewhere to spend the night. Relena huffed, taking a moment to collect herself and her things when just as quickly as the boy had come and gone, four men came bustling up the street, jockeying for space on the narrow sidewalk. 

“Did you see a boy run past here just now?”

“Yes,” Relena said. She raised her hand to point down the street, when she felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable with helping the men. It wasn’t hard to sense that their intentions were not good. Rather, she pointed across the street, in the opposite direction. “He went that way,” she finished. The men nodded their thanks and tore across the street. 

As she resumed her trek down the empty street, the boy appeared from an alley up ahead. “Are they gone?”

“Who?” Relena asked.

“The guys who were chasing me.”

“Yes. They went down the other road.”

“Thanks,” he said. His tone was grim, though he seemed sincere. 

Relena looked at the boy as he scanned the street. He had on a blue coat that fit tight across the shoulders and was a bit short above the hip. His hair was a messy brown tangle, and his eyes were a flat blue that reminded Relena of the late evening sky. Taken altogether, he was quite attractive, but the throbbing in her shoulder where they’d collided dulled her appreciation. Another moment passed and realization swept over Relena.

“You,” Relena gasped.

“What?” The boy’s tone was defensive, and he tensed, more than he already was.

“You’re the boy. The boy I’ve been seeing on television.”

His eyes widened and he took on the look of a cornered wild animal . “What do you mean, on the television?”

“On the television,” Relena said again, more emphatically, as though the simple emphasis would explain her meaning. “Every time they cover the protests or the riots on the news, I always see you on the television. At first you were always with an older man, your father maybe, but more recently…”

The boy’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?”

Relena laughed, surprised. “Who am I? Who are you? I came all the way to the colonies to find you, and isn’t it just my luck that without even trying you run right into me.”

The boy frowned, and then his body went rigid. “We need to get off the street.” He grabbed Relena’s hand and pulled. Relena, not sure she should trust this boy who she had grown up seeing but still didn’t know, hesitated, digging her heels into the pavement, until the boy huffed in annoyance and said, “Look, I can explain when we’re somewhere that isn’t so open. It isn’t safe to talk on the street.”

Moving quickly, he led Relena to a building some fifteen blocks away that looked just like all the other buildings. A quick series of knocks on the door and it opened into a room with what Relena estimated to be around thirty people. Another boy about their age closed and locked the door. He was tall, slim, and had a heavy bang that hid most of his face from view. 

“Who’s she?” he asked.

“Don’t worry. She’s safe. She isn’t from the colonies.”

“Heero, are you crazy bringing an Earth girl here? How do you know we can trust her?” The boy pushed away from the wall he was leaning against, and at full height was incredibly intimidating. His voice was accusatory, and Relena felt herself bristle.

The other boy, Heero, huffed in annoyance. “She didn’t rat me out to those Alliance goons, if that’s enough for you. I’d think you’d be able to trust my judgement by now, Trowa.”

Trowa frowned and cross his arms over his chest. “Fine. But if there’s any sign that she’s dangerous, she is out of here.” He stared hard at Relena. “What’s your name?”

Trowa’s address was sudden, and his tone was hard and implacable. “M-my name is Relena Darlian.”

“Darlian?” the taller boy said quickly. “Isn’t that the Vice Foreign Minister’s name?”

“Yes,” Relena returned. “He’s my father,” she said proudly, her voice finding some strength. Relena was incredibly proud to be the daughter of the Vice Foreign Minister. She had been able to see the positive outcomes of his diplomacy, particularly in the last few years of the colony conflicts. 

Trowa’s jaw went tight and he glared at Heero. “This is a bad idea.”

“And I acknowledge your opinion on the matter.” Heero led Relena into the back of the small house where they could talk without being overheard by the others, Trowa and several other eyes staring hard at their backs the whole way. He would debrief them on any necessary intel later, but for the moment, he wanted to know what Relena knew, and how much trouble her being there might bring down upon them. 

Door closed, Heero motioned for Relena to sit. “Relena, was it? How much do you know or understand about what’s going on in the colonies?”

“Admittedly, not much,” Relena said. “The news reports are very vague, and my father prefers not to discuss his work at home.”

Heero nodded, seemingly unsurprised. “What are the news reports on earth saying?”

“That there are economic factors at play. That the colonies blame earth, but the reasons are unclear.”

“There are definitely economic factors. And I’d say a lot of people blame earth for various reasons. But mostly it’s the Alliance. They’ve been slowly denying us resources, transporting particular industries to other colonies - or even back to earth. At first it was just protests because the impact was relatively small, but in the last couple of years, Relena, nearly half of L1 is facing unemployment. We’ve seen a significant decrease in resources to maintain the infrastructure, and a decrease in food resources. Some of the poorer colonies are in a worse state that we are, and people are dying of starvation.” He paused for breath. “I’m sure you’ve heard that there have been attacks on the colonies by colonists?”

Relena nodded.

“There’s infighting in the colonies because there are groups that support the Alliance. And with the political doublespeak, it’s difficult sometimes to really understand who is the enemy or what’s going on.” Heero pushed a hand into the tangle of his hair. “What we’re doing here is working to smuggle in resources for the colonists. Food. Materials. Whatever we can. Those Alliance guys you saw chasing me interrupted the receiving of an order. Our biggest one yet! We’re doing important work here, Relena. And if you’re going to stick around, you have to be willing to help. And now that you know, you are bound to secrecy, because if anyone finds out, we’ll assume it was you - the outsider - that slipped up.”

“I had no idea,” Relena whispered. There were tears heavy on her lashes. Five years this had been happening, and only now had it been clearly explained to her. She remembered the formation of the Alliance, their purported support of the colonies and colonial development. “I want to help, Heero. I don’t really know what I can do to help, but I will do anything I can to help you.”

Later that night, Heero introduced Relena to the group. It was effectively a rag tag group of teenagers no older than Relena, with several adults in the mix to help keep things organized and with connections into particular business that young kids had no purpose meddling with. Relena could tell there was measured distrust amongst the group. Some of them, Relena suspected, had their own reasons for aligning themselves with this particular group, but she didn’t pursue that line of thinking. She wanted to help, and creating any kind of divide was not the way go about doing so. She was determined to prove that she was worthy of being there.

***

The next morning Heero and Trowa explained what the task for the day was to be. A shipment of dry goods was arriving at an industrial shuttle port. The area was heavily guarded by men like the ones Relena had seen chasing Heero the previous day, though these ones carried guns and looked prepared to use them. Heero and a man who called himself Dr. J had gone over the blueprints with the group early that morning, outlining the sections that the smaller teams would target and who was responsible for what. Relena had been placed in a team with Heero and Trowa - who looked far from happy to be working together - to create a distraction at the main gate. 

“We’re going to utilize the fact that you’re a girl, and also that you are unfamiliar with the area. Ask a guard for directions, or pretend to cry about having lost your puppy or something. All we need is one guard and we can work on taking out the rest.”

“Nice to know I can be of so much use to you,” Relena said dryly.

Trowa glowered. “You want to help, right? Don’t complain.”

At the gate, Relena was flawless. Her tears were real, and she sobbed pathetically about both her lost dog and her lack of familiarity with that part of the colony. The guard looked uncomfortable at her crying, and also wary at leaving his post. “Please, please can you help me?” Relena wailed. She wiped at her messy running nose and offered the man a watery smile. 

Meanwhile Heero and Trowa, and a few others made quick work of the guard with skill that only came from practice, and disappeared into the compound. After the guard had provided Relena with some directions back towards the residential part of the colony and an assurance that he would keep a lookout for her dog, Relena returned to the team headquarters and waited for the others to return.

***

The house in which they were staying was sparsely decorated. Beds enough for everyone - some sharing as needed - chairs and a table, and a radio they used to track news of attacks and also monitor various arrivals of shipments. Dr. J sat opposite her reading the newspaper, and she took a moment to turn the radio on, scrolling through the dial until her own name made her stop. Dr. J paused in his reading and slid his gaze up to meet Relena’s.

> _“... Relena Darlian, daughter of Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, has been reported missing. Her mother states that yesterday afternoon Relena said she was going to meet with friends from school to study, but never returned home. The friends in question say they never had plans to meet with Miss Darlian and had not seen or heard from her at all during the day. Members of the Darlian staff say that Miss Darlian said she was going for a walk. Authorities are exploring all possibilities, but are asking citizens of both earth and the colonies to keep watch for the young girl. Miss Darlian is aged fifteen, has long honey blonde hair, blue eyes, and is roughly five feet three inches tall. Her mother reports Relena was last seen wearing a light pink blazer and pink skirt, and carrying a blue and white bag.”_

“If they find you are here, Miss Relena, it will cause problems for more than just you.” Dr. J said, dropping his eyes back to his newspaper. “Best you share the information when the others return lest they find out on their own.”

A hard lump formed in Relena’s throat and tears burned hot in her eyes. She should leave now, before the others returned and contact the authorities - at least call her mother and let her know she is okay. “I should go,” Relena whispered.

“You should do whatever feels the most right to you,” Dr. J replied.

Relena went into the room where she had been provided a bed to sleep and quickly packed her small collection of items. She looked around the room, thought of Heero who had so long been at the forefront of her imagination, and who she had only just gotten to know, and wished she could stay just a little bit longer. But being there was putting everyone in danger.

Downstairs the door opened and there was the chatter of excited voices. Obviously the plan had gone through successfully, for which Relena was glad. When she returned to the main room, most everyone was smiling wide, loose and relaxed with the taste of successful. Trowa caught sight of Relena first, eyes immediately catching the bag slung over her shoulder. His mouth pulled into a frown and then slipped naturally into a smirk.

“Looks like we’ve got a deserter, Heero!”

Heero turned from an emphatic shaking of hands. Trowa’s outburst dulled the conversation, and most of the room turned to look at Relena hovering awkwardly in the doorway. 

“I am not a deserter,” Relena said firmly.

“Looks like it to me,” Trowa returned meanly.

“Looks can be deceiving,” Relena shot back. Trowa’s constant confrontational tone was drawing Relena perilously close to losing her temper. “I fell in here purely by chance. I understand that given the circumstances that you have every right to be both wary and distrustful of me. But even without knowing any of you, without really understanding what your intentions are - after all, I have no reason to trust you, either - I have helped you steal supplies. I have put myself in harms way for your benefit. And now I am removing myself from the situation again to be of help, as remaining here and being found will find you all arrested.”

“What?” Trowa snorted. “Did mommy and daddy send out a search party for you?”

“Actually, yes.” Relena straightened, toss her hair over her shoulder and stared Trowa in the eye while the others looked on in silence. “And I would appreciate if you would not belittle my parents’ concern. I understand that many of you are without parents, and I am sympathetic to your situation even if I cannot fully understand the difficulty that you face every day.”

Relena turned to Heero, and addressed the group as a whole. “I thank you for your hospitality, and whatever trust you gave me when you had no reason. I wish that I were capable of providing more help to you, but at the moment the only way I can do so is to leave.”

As she passed across the room, most people stepped out of the way, while others resolutely forced Relena to weave around them. Beyond the door the grey sky threatening rain the day before had opened, and the Relena stepped out without comment, closing the door firmly behind her.

***

Within moments Relena was soaked to the bone. There were few doorways she could hide in as she hurried up the block, no well placed awnings. She held her bag close to her chest, kept her head down, and moved as quickly as she could in the direction of the shuttle port. She would call her parents and tell them where she was, what she had done, and that she was coming home. 

Through the dull drumming of rain against the ground, Relena registered the sound of feet splashing through puddles behind her. Heero was eating the distance between them, his too small blue jacket held over his head in a pathetic effort to protect himself from the rain. 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Making sure you at get to the shuttle port safely. If there’s a official search for you, it might not be someone who wants to help you that finds you.”

“Thank you, Heero.”

They turned the corner, and two uniformed officers stationed outside caught sight of them, yelling, “Stop!” 

“Run!” Relena whispered, but Heero shook his head. 

“Not from them. If there are two of them, there are more, meaning we’re already outnumbered. Better to just cooperate.”

The officers towered over the two teenagers, scrutinizing them through their soggy appearance. “Come with me,” one said, gruffly. He led them inside what turned out to be a converted office building. The walls were covered with area maps of the colony, particular neighbourhoods marked with red and blue exes. There were a collection of desks on one side of the room, men in similar uniformed sat behind. 

They handed Relena and Heero towels to dry themselves slightly from the rain, and afterward led them to another small room where they took their names and fingerprints. At Relena’s name, an eyebrow was raised, but no comment made, and Relena suddenly felt uneasy. Were these the type of people Heero had told her about?

“Miss Darlian, please come with me.” The officer made a signal to one of his fellow officers, and he led Heero into a different direction. Her uneasiness increased and a sinking feeling settled into her stomach. What was going to happen to him?

“Miss Darlian, how did you come to meet the young man we found you with?”

“I ran into him on the street yesterday shortly after I arrived,” Relena replied honestly. “He was kind enough to provide me shelter for the evening as I had no prepared place to stay and I understand that the streets are not particularly safe.”

“No, no they are not,” the man returned. “What do you know about your young host?”

“I know that his name is Heero, and that he has a surprising amount of trust for strangers in such a dangerous time.”

“Anything else?”

“Is there anything else I should know?”

A deep frown pulled at the officer’s mouth. “Did this Heero, as you call him, tell you anything at all about himself? Were there any other people at the location he took you to? Did they ask you to participate in any kind of scheme?”

It was Relena’s turn to frown. “I’m afraid I don’t appreciate the accusatory tone you are taking. No, there were no others at the house Heero took me to, and I was not asked to participate in anything untoward. Heero was a very gracious host, and nothing more.”

“So you weren’t seen wandering around an industrial port asking for directions and claiming you had lost your dog?”

“Of course not.”

“Thank you very much, Miss Darlian. We have sent a report to your parents that you have been found. You will be able to stay here until they arrive.”

“What about Heero?” Relena asked, sitting forward in her chair.

“He is being detained.”

“Detained!” Relena exclaimed. “On what grounds? What is going to happen to him?”

“That information is classified, and not for you to know. Come with me and I will show you to a room where you can stay until your parents arrive.”

***

The room is up a flight of stairs and looked just like the sitting room at home. There was a chesterfield loveseat, a coffee table, and two arm chairs. The lighting in the room was a soft orange glow that made Relena feel tired. She wondered if that was intentional. Rather than sit, Relena paced up and down the length of the room.

Detained. Heero was _detained_. That was not at all what she had intended when she set out on what she now realized has been a ridiculous and naive idea. She did not in the least regret meeting Heero. She did, however, wish that the circumstances had been different, that the outcome had been different, that perhaps they could be friends.

What were the conditions for Heero? Was it simply a room with a chair? Was he in a prison cell? Were they simply asking him questions, or were they hurting him? 

Relena did not know how much time passed before there was a knock at the door. It swung open to reveal her mother and father. The Vice Foreign Minister wore a firm expression while Relena’s mother fell into the room and wrapped her arms around her daughter. “Relena, we were so worried!”

“I hope I don’t have to tell you how foolish you’ve been,” he father intoned. 

“I’m sorry, mother,” Relena said. “But I had to come. And father, while it may have been foolish, I don’t regret it. I only regret the outcome.”

Minister Darlian spoke quietly at the door with two officers, different than the ones Relena had seen earlier. Mrs. Darlian fussed over Relena’s mussed hair and wrinkled dress. “I want to speak with Heero,” Relena said loud enough to be heard but all in the room.

“Whatever for?” her mother asked.

“I want to speak with Heero,” Relena repeated. 

Her father and mother shared a look, and nodded. “Okay, dear. If you feel you must.”

***

There are bars, which made Relena’s heart clench. Heero sat in the dark, one leg propped up on the bench, arms bound between his knees. He didn’t respond when Relena called his name, and she folded her hands in front of herself, anxiously twisting her fingers. “I am so sorry, Heero,” she whispered. “I never intended for this to happen. Here I am, just a silly, naive, spoiled rich girl who thought she could fly to the colonies and meet this boy who I knew nothing about and somehow fulfil some kind of dream I don’t think I fully understand. And here you were, fighting for something tangible and serious, and because of me, because of stupid, silly me, I don’t know what is going to happen to you.”

Heero shifted, but said nothing. 

“I want to say I’m going to make this right, Heero. But I can tell that you are a boy that does not need saving. If anyone needs saving here, it’s me. I feel I owe you a great deal of thanks, but given the circumstances, I’m not sure you’d accept it.”

Relena waited several long minutes for Heero to say something. He remained just as impassive as ever, staring resolutely at the floor. As she turned to exit the room, Relena added, “Tell Trowa that I appreciate him being so straightforward with me, even if he is kind of an ass.”

***

Months passed after her trip to the colony, and the situation on the colonies was far from improving. The scope of Relena’s world felt stifling after her clandestine trip to the colonies. The world of home-school-home and the tightly filtered news reports about what was really going on was frustrating. It made Relena realize that she had always lived inside a bubble, the only difference now being that she was aware that the bubble existed, and she resented it. 

Relena continued to watch the news reports, keeping an eye out for Heero’s familiar face among the crowd. When Relena had all but given up hope of knowing that Heero wasn’t rotting in a prison cell, there was a news report of an attack on another industrial port on L1. The news footage showed several figures running from the smoking base. Although she couldn’t be sure, the possibility that Heero and the others were still doing their part gave Relena hope.


End file.
